I Got Nothing For You Cuz It’s Just One of Those Days
On my left I’m staring at a huge heap of laundry that I have been ignoring since Saturday. On my right a pile has appeared out of nowhere consisting of, let’s see…an off-limits poultry shears used for an art project, some beads, an unpacked lunch box, surgical gloves, one sock and a half eaten dog toy. Directly ahead are stacks of old Sunday newspapers left unread (except for the Sunday Styles sections). And in my fridge is a package of ground chicken that I just can’t bear to look at right now.
My dog just attacked my daughter’s piano teacher. My daughter’s homework was harder than my graduate school final, and it’s raining…again. Oh, and I also fell prey to an Internet scam after thinking my friend was stuck in Europe with no money. So I apologize in advance to anyone who gets an email from me asking for money because I’m in Europe. I’m not in Europe. Though it’s not a bad idea. This week seems to be starting off mighty fine.
Just trying to figure out how the rest of the winter will play out. It seems to be awfully long and I’m feeling sorry for myself. I’m also trying to figure out how to answer the following second grade math question:
“When Daryl was 11 years old and his sister, Coralee was 3, they watched a TV show about hot air balloons. Daryl started saving his money. When Daryl was twice as old as Coralee, he took her on a ride in a hot air balloon. How old were Daryl and Coralee when they rode in the balloon?”
Please tell me I’m missing something here…
If I stare at the ground chicken long enough will it cook itself?
When I was little I used to watch Bewitched every day. Oh how I loved that show. And now, in a moment of weakness, I’ll let you in on a little secret: Sometimes when I’m in a situation like this I twitch my nose back and forth in hopes that magic will happen. But it doesn’t.
And Elizabeth Montgomery is dead. So where does that leave me?
Still staring at the laundry, poultry shears, newspapers, rain, dog and ground chicken. So I’m going out on an edge tonight. And I’m ordering bad Chinese.
It’ll probably show up tomorrow.