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GrilledChicken2

Card Me…Sandra’s Superior Grilled Chicken

Published on: 01-12-2017

I’m not a card-carrying member of much but I do carry a lot of cards. Mostly in the form of Nordstrom, American Express, Starbucks and Jersey Mike’s (one more sub and I get a free sandwich!). Flaunting my membership affiliations isn’t something I typically do (save the occasional single school magnet) so I’m always a bit taken aback when I come across this…

IMG_1585

There’s a lot going on here. Let’s see if we can decipher…

Nice big happy family with three kids. They’re all smiling with their hands on their hips, Partridge Family style. Don’t we all do this? Looks like there are about nine activities on display so let’s assume three per kid. A generous family. A rich family. And it seems as if someone won something in ’08, ’09, and ’10 so congratulations are in order!

But here’s my question.

Why? Why is this necessary? I mean this is just wrong for so many reasons. First of all, companies and organizations listed on said magnets are certainly not giving us discounts on these places so why the free advertising? Secondly, why does every single person driving behind me need to know where my kids are going after school? Isn’t that dangerous in this day and age? And lastly, is there no consideration for the single woman in the next lane who’s already had a bad day and then has to look over from her car and see this?

As in
“Hey Girl! I’ve got four kids and you’re still single! Ha ha!”

It’s just so mean-spirited, don’t you think?

My daughter carries a lot of cards in her wallet, too. I’m not sure where they come from but I’ve been looking for my ATM card so I should probably check and see if she has it. She doesn’t. But I did find this inside:

Who wouldn't serve this?
Note to self: Look for all forms of Fake ID in daughters’ wallets before they leave home from now on.

Woops. Probably not the best idea to have your eight-year-old carrying around your fake ID from college last month. See, I’m younger than you thought!

How she found this I have no idea. I’ll confiscate immediately. Who would ever carry such a thing around anyway?

I have a recipe box that I got at an art festival years ago. It’s about as organized as the rest of my life but the cards that it holds are priceless since some are from family members who are no longer with us. I especially love to read the titles on the cards because people try to exercise superiority and ownership (with just a touch of condescension) with their recipes. As in “Aunt Dorothy’s Super Duper To Die For Chocolate Cake.” Or “Cousin Mandy’s Ultimate Best Ever Chicken Parmesan.” And “Dorrie’s Delectable That’s Ten Times Better than Anything You’d Ever Make Apple Pie.” I’m calling the bluff on that one. Isn’t it up to us to decide whose recipe is worthy of such titles?

In case you’re wondering, my recipe box looks like this:

RecipeBox

Where am I going with this? Not sure yet. I’m actually still thrown by the fact that Talia has been carrying my fake ID around for a year without my knowledge. It’s survived 15 moves in four cities which is impressive. But clearly it’s time for me to shuffle her cards and get her some new ones. For now, I’ll throw a really good recipe card out there for you. It’s an old neighbor’s chicken marinade for the grill that she made when I was in high school. She brought me the recipe card herself. And here’s what it’s called. I guess some people just need to flaunt it.

Sandra’s Superior Grilled Chicken

Ingredients

1 package bone-in chicken with skin
1/2 jar orange marmelade or Apricot jam
4-5 squirts honey
1/2 cup orange juice
1/2 bottle Italian dressing

Instructions

1
Mix up all the stuff. Marinate chicken for at least 2 hours.
2
Grill on medium for about 8 minutes per side then crank it up at the end so you get those cool lines on your chicken that make it look like a restaurant.
3
Write the recipe on a card using both superlatives and alliterations showing how great it is and then give to a friend.

I love Sour Patch Kids. I'd eat Ranch dressing on my shoe. My kids think I like my computer more than I like them. I have road rage.

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