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Horizontal photo of single pouched egg with few water bubbles on surface after boiling and flowing orange yolk. Egg is placed on black slate stone with nice surface with red ketchup and green herb.

Friends with Benedicts

Published on: 01-15-2017
I. Can’t. Even.

The title alone of this post is worthy of the post itself. So I’ll cut to the chase. I have lots of friends. But there are only certain ones with whom I’d share ‘Benedicts.’ Because Benedicts fall into the category of Very. Special. Friends. Friends with whom you can share Very. Personal. Food. Examples of such include ice cream. And soup. And breakfast items. Foods that are runny and messy and gooey and sticky with drippy sauce all over the place. Yeah, you know what I’m talking about. You don’t just share them with anyone. Benedicts are sacred.

The best Eggs Benedict I ever had was from a crazy yummy breakfast place in Chicago called TOAST. Chicago has so many of those little crazy yummy breakfast places with one word names like Yolk, Hash, and Brunch (guess people are pretty literal in Chicago). Toast served up their Eggs Benedict on a fried Portobello mushroom with corn flake crumbs. It was seriously so incredible it was better than…well, let’s stick to the topic.

Anyway, some Benedicts are served atop english muffins. Some atop croissants. And to fully experience the entire explosion of yumminess, you need to cut into the entire thing and savor the taste of the runny egg covered in sauce, cascading onto the bread, sopping up the potatoes in one voluptuous bite. Uh huh.

Sorry for the delay in finishing up the post. Had to go take a cold shower. But I’m back.

Since today is Sunday and many of you may be going out to brunch, may I suggest the Eggs Benedict for those with special friends? Friends with whom you will now be able to deem as “Friends With Benedicts.” Or just stay home and make it yourself. You’ll probably make their day.



4 eggs (2 are for the sauce)
2 slices french bread
handful mushrooms
handful fresh spinach
1 avocado
appx. 2 TBSP butter
splash white wine vinegar
splash Worcestershire sauce
pinch Kosher salt and pepper
pinch paprika


Since the Hollandaise sauce takes the longest time, do this first. Grab a pot and put a few inches of water in it and let it simmer while you're mixing your sauce. This will be used to keep it warm later. Now, in a blender, add 2 egg yolks, a splash lemon juice, splash of Worcestershire sauce, vinegar, salt and pepper and blend thoroughly. When mixed, place the entire blender (or transfer into a smaller container and cover) and let sit in the warm water until eggs are done.
Now, boil up another pot of water for your eggs. My favorite way to poach eggs is to boil some water gently (once boiling, turn to a low boil). While the water is boiling, saute the mushrooms and spinach in some butter S&P.
Lightly toast the bread and lay out on a plate. Smash up the avocado and spread onto your bread, then top with a dollop of spinach/mushroom mixture.
Once the water is boiling, turn to medium low and crack the eggs directly into the water. Turn down immediately and wait for 2-3 minutes. Take out with a slotted spoon and place egg on each piece of bread.
Drizzle each Benedict with Hollandaise sauce and sprinkle with a little paprika. *Variations on this recipe are endless! Use turkey bacon instead of avocado or even add some smoked salmon for a smoky flavor!
Feed your friend.

I love Sour Patch Kids. I'd eat Ranch dressing on my shoe. My kids think I like my computer more than I like them. I have road rage.
    • Carrie Major
    • January 15, 2017

    Oh my god. This is hilarious. I am so happy I found this blog! Making this NOW.

      • kitchenchaos
      • January 15, 2017

      Thanks, Carrie. Let me know how it turns out (the egg part, that is!) ;0

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