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Throw this puppy over a rice krispy treat and boom, straight "A"s for the rest of the year.

‘Tis the Season…Peppermint Chocolate Bark

Published on: 12-22-2018

It’s always about this time of the year when I’m faced with the same conundrum. Do I or don’t I donate to the class fund for my kids’ teachers? Now before you label me as insensitive let’s flesh this out. And just for the record, I’m overly generous. But maybe you can help. At the beginning of the year we’re asked to donate to the school-wide PTA fund for teacher gifts which I do without question. Then, a few weeks into the semester, we’re asked to donate to the classroom fund for teacher holiday gifts. Of course I oblige. But then come the few short weeks of December when holiday parties kick into high gear and parental carpool banter consists of What did you get Mrs. X and Coach Y?  which makes me question the entire three-tiered donation system. Of course, all of this is optional and there’s ‘no obligation’ from the school to donate. But c’mon, what happens if I’m the only one in the entire class who doesn’t do an individual gift? Yeah, then I’ll look like the insensitive b*tch alluded to above. *warning, run on sentence/stream of consciousness follows* Like the time when I donated to the PTA fund and the class fund and then bought some really cute decorative mugs and filled them with candy just as an extra token of my appreciation (and believe me, it was heartfelt) and was feeling all jolly as I walked into the classroom to deliver them when I just happened to overhear an unnamed over-the-top parent give the teacher an extraordinary gift certificate in an extraordinary amount to a well-known Michelin rated restaurant in town. Yeah, how lame were my little candy mugs looking at that point, huh? I mean, who can compete with a Michelin rated restaurant gift certificate?

So I gotta know: is everyone doing this? Giving to the school fund, the class fund and then doing the private gift? Is it just me or is this a bit excessive? Or, does it have nothing to do at all with being excessive, it’s just a bunch of paranoid parents who don’t want to be the only one not doing all three? If you think teenage peer pressure is bad, man just wait until you hit mom peer pressure! Please, don’t get me wrong. I love my kids’ teachers more than I love {certain members of} my own family. They are amazing. And totally overworked. And underpaid. And deserving of Michelin rated restaurant gift certificates. But when does it stop?

Then again there’s always homemade stuff. Which I’m totally going to do this year. But I want to make sure you do it, too. Okay? Okay?

Homemade Chocolate Peppermint Bark

You tell me a $300 gift certificate is better than this? Okay, maybe not.
You tell me a $300 gift certificate is better than this? Okay, maybe not.


Huge bar of meltable white chocolate (I find this is much easier to use than chocolate chips)
Huge bar of meltable milk chocolate
splash peppermint extract
Green food coloring
Bag of candy canes
Parchment paper


Put candy canes in a plastic bag and crush with a hammer or meat tenderizer (great to do if you're mad about the fact that you've been spending too much $ on holiday gifts).
Melt chocolate according to directions. If using chocolate chips, melt in double boiler. If using white chocolate, mix a few drops of green food coloring into chocolate.
Line a cookie sheet with parchment paper and spread chocolate onto paper.
Sprinkle with candy cane bits.
Freeze for one hour.
Break up into bark.
Remember to never succumb to peer pressure.

I love Sour Patch Kids. I'd eat Ranch dressing on my shoe. My kids think I like my computer more than I like them. I have road rage.
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