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Whine Pairings…Stuffed Mushrooms

Published on: 12-04-2016
Would you like some sass with your Shiraz, madame?

I love going to fine restaurants where food is paired with the perfect wine. There’s just something about having a professional direct your alcoholic intake that’s so sophisticated. Makes the food taste better and makes me feel smart. For instance, a white flaky fish baked with capers, lemon and bread crumbs is delightful (there goes that personification again) with a nice Pinot Grigio. Pasta Primavera with broccoli, tomatoes and mushrooms is tres deliciouso when coupled with a glass of chardonnay from Cakebread Cellars. And nothing goes better with a monster burger and extra crispy pomme frites than merlot in an enormous glass. See, I don’t need a sommelier…I can do it myself. And I do. Only my wine pairings take on a whole new meaning when served at home.

Because they are whine pairings. And they go something like this:

  • Ask me for a snack one more time and I’ll pair that with a glass of BV Coastal Chardonnay and some Triscuits as I close my eyes and pretend I’m at the beach and you are not with me.
  • Fighting over the Wii calls for a glass of my favorite Zinfandel, XYZIN, and a set of ear plugs because if I hear that blasted music one more time I’ll jump off a cliff.
  • May I suggest the Layer Cake Merlot when your relatives call to ‘chat’ or (worse) ‘stop by’ at 6 pm on a Tuesday?
  • Tantrums, fits and fist fights call for whatever is most easily accessible, typically the Clos Du Bois (because it’s so darn cheap and good) in the fridge. No snack needed. Just drink.
  • Sass, back talk, (or if you’re still stuck in the 80s– being fresh) goes great with¬†Sauvignon Blanc.
  • When anyone in family calls to ask “What are we having for dinner” I recommend the Kenwood Vintage Red before answering “I dunno, what are you making?”
  • Delayed bedtimes, chore shirking and bath avoiders beckon a bottle of Bogle.
  • Computer crashes, talking to Delta airlines, saying the word “representative,” or having your kids steal all of your office paper out of the printer so you are left with nothing but construction paper which doesn’t do well on printer trackers invites cracking open some Chardonnay by Toasted Head for the name alone.

To make the most of these whine pairings, always drink from a real glass, never a plastic cup. Put on lipstick. And if you have the opportunity to put the phone on speaker while you’re waiting for someone to pick up, stop crying, get home or simply get out of your face, put on some classical music and make stuffed mushrooms. Pair these mushrooms with your whine and after two or three glasses, somehow, it all just fades away…

Stuffed Mushrooms


Box of large white mushrooms
few celery stalks
few carrots
olive oil
seasoned bread crumbs
Parmesan cheese


Chop carrots, onion and celery in food processor until minced.
Saute mixture in a little olive oil, S&P and bread crumbs until blended.
Pull stems off of mushrooms and empty caps.
Fill caps with veggie mixture and drizzle with olive oil. Top with Parmesan cheese.
Bake at 400 for 15-20 minutes.
Serve with any wine you have left.

I love Sour Patch Kids. I'd eat Ranch dressing on my shoe. My kids think I like my computer more than I like them. I have road rage.
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